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How it hurts (and worries) when you come home after a hard day at work, ask your son for a kiss and he turns and locks himself in his room, right?
The first thing we think is that something has happened to him at school, but maybe we are wrong. Many times we have behaviors that alienate children from parents Without us realizing.
We will get tired of saying it and repeating it over and over again: being a parent is not easy. We are human and as such we make mistakes.
The problem lies in the moment in which those actions, behaviors or behaviors they take children away from parents. Daily situations that, if we do not tackle them in time, can cause us to lose our children.
Before we complain, let's review them all and take steps to eradicate them. You move your child away from you when ...:
1. You don't tell him that you love him
We all need to be kissed, hugged, loved ... but more children. The lack of affection in the smallest of the house can lead to problems in their development: anxiety disorders, attention and concentration problems, distrust of everything, aggressive attitudes, difficulties in expressing their emotions ... Do you really want all this for your son?
2. You punish him for no reason
Next time, before punishing your child for something, think not only about the reason that led you to make that decision (perhaps the child has not done anything and you have misinterpreted their behavior) but also about the objective of said action . Punishments must serve to improve the child's behavior and must never lead to a situation of violence, neither verbal nor physical. The only thing that will do is that the little one develops aggressive behaviors.
3. You compare it
Each child is different and each one has its strengths and weaknesses. By comparing with one of his siblings or with one of his friends, nothing is achieved other than reducing the child's self-esteem and, as some parents believe, it is not a way to motivate them. From now on, no more comparing with anyone!
4. You yell at him
Parents have to set an example. Children are sponges who are learning every day and imitate everything that the grown-ups do. If you use yelling as a form of communication, not only will he end up getting used to them and they will have no effect on him, but they will also cause a state of stress and nervousness in the child.
5. You ridicule him in public
It may sound very strong, but it is a reality: when you ridicule a child in public you are subjecting him to a type of psychological abuse, which will make the child feel humiliated, trampled on, rejected and despised. Psychologists suggest that one of the reasons why a parent does this is because they do not accept the child with his characteristics: perhaps he cries all the time? Are you always wrong in math? Do you stumble when walking? Nothing is a reason to embarrass you in front of everyone!
6. You criticize him
When we criticize someone, we think that it will help them improve, but quite the opposite! it makes the person feel worse about himself, frustrated and worthless, and blocks himself. With criticism the only thing you will achieve is that they do not come to you when they have a problem.
7. You labels
"You're mean", "You're messy", "You're very talkative". A hobby that many parents have is to always look for that "label" to define their children. With these types of phrases, what we are giving the child is an extra weight on his way to happiness, something that will limit him and shape his personality thinking that he has that innate trait, when it is not true.
8. You are not interested in their things
You may be exhausted or stressed, but your child can't wait for you to come home to tell you about everything that happened to him at school. That her teacher Esther has given her a happy face for picking up the toys, that her friend Nora has appeared with a cast because she fell in the park yesterday, that her tablemate has had a little brother ... It is her reality, her day a day and I want to share it with you.
Fortunately, these behaviors can be changed or, rather, they can be replaced by others that have the opposite effect: get the child closer to his parents. Do you want to know them?
- When you hug him, You hold him in your arms and kiss him to show him how important he is to you.
- You accept him as he is, without labels of any kind and without any comparisons.
- When you don't limit him, you give him freedom and let him make mistakes, experiment, try, discover his world himself.
- Tea sit down with him to talk and you explain and argue what is right and what is wrong, putting aside unnecessary punishments.
- You spend time with him: you lie on the floor of your house to play cars, you listen to everything he has to tell you about his day, you prepare plans to do as a family ...
- Le you recognize their effort and you motivate him with a phrase.
You can read more articles similar to These are the 8 behaviors that keep children away from parents, in the category of Conduct on site.